When waking up, I start to get ready for another day, but my mind doesn’t want to follow along. Sometimes, this makes me take more energy to be able to come up with something or face my daily day. While walking towards school, all that I can notice are the gray colors of my surroundings, such as walking from my dorm all the way to campus and the same view of grays makes it difficult to focus. There are houses and colorful buildings on the way, but the color gray is the only one I seem to notice. 

       I start to think to myself, “Am I going mad or is it just that I can’t see the light of the  things?” 

       As I walk along, I see people passing by, but I can’t see

anything besides just a blank or blurry face.  

       While continuing towards the day, everything seems to

remind me about all the things that I regret. Seems that my

mind enjoys torturing me while I’m trying to become better

or try something new. It screams about all the mistakes that I

have done and reminds me that we haven’t changed — that

it’s all just a façade that we show so nothing seems out of

place. As I lose focus on the tasks I need to carry out or even when I’m trying to distract myself, it seems that I can only see the void around me. As I walk around this empty void, it mocks me by showing a lake of shining stars on the other side where I’m standing. Moving forward into the darkness that surrounds me, I can see myself starting to crack more and more until pieces of myself fall apart and break into tiny pieces. As more of these pieces break, my light that was lighting my surroundings starts to be consumed by the darkness.

       Even though I'm starting to lose my light and fall onto my knees, I try to keep some pieces together so that I may stand up and continue moving forward. Sometimes I find a shining light in the distance which looks the same as the ones on the sea of lights that are below me. I move towards it and see why it got lost and try to comfort it until it shines as bright as it did before or similarly. Grabbing the light, I put it back where it belongs in the sea of lights and I continue by myself, walking in this void that has become familiar to me. This void continues to change me the longer that I stay in it, as things narrow in my view, I continue while I lose sight of important things. 

       As I continue more and more with my life, I have adopted the mentality of just helping those lights to find their way back to the sea of lights, while I stay on this empty void. After all, loneliness is something I deserve because of all the mistakes and the facades that I made. This journey that I made has followed outside of my mind since I started to act the same as how I picture it in the void. I’m friendly and interact with others since I haven’t completely broken yet. I try to help those who I can since I'm too familiar with being in the darkness, and when I know they have found their light, I move on. This routine makes me think that I have gone mad, but even though I’m tired some days of everything, I would stand up and continue this nightmare that I have created in my mind.