by Kindra Stewart, Nonfiction editor
This week, we revisit DiN's third issue and highlight Chelsea Musil's first publication, "Becoming Porcelain".
Through this journey of self-discovery and identity, Musil becomes the best version of herself – somebody who exists for herself and not for the enjoyment of others, staying true to the origin of lolita culture and not using it as erotic, fetish wear to lure in a sexual partner or embody a fantasy for the pleasure of others.
“Becoming Porcelain” redefines gender norms and sheds a new light on the ever-so-secret subject of asexuality.
“Is it a contradiction to be both a lolita and a feminist?
Of course there is an element of performativity to gender, and lolita is particularly extravagant in its performance. In many ways donning a lolita outfit is a radical act in its own right. Any individual lolita may or may not necessarily be aiming to subvert the binary gender system, although there is certainly an element of satire in the clothing whether the lolita pays attention to it or not. But she is certainly removing herself from the mainstream, and making the choice not to adhere to sexualized standards of beauty.
If I am indeed a fairy tale, then why not present myself as one?
Is it unfeminist to be asexual, to appropriate Victorian imagery in order to escape the male gaze, to embrace the feminine to the extent that porcelain dolls are the ideal image?
A lolita maintains her agency by symbolically stripping herself of it. The Japanese lolita, facing significant pressure to “grow up” and get married, to have a family of her own, rebels against this pressure by reveling in her childhood for as long as she can. Finding the real world cruel and sexist, she celebrates her own dreams while making herself unattractive to men.
So she becomes the doll, that which is pure beauty, a thing which, while created by social cruelty, is unable to enter society because it is inanimate. She embodies her fantasy, even if that means she must learn to sew herself because she cannot afford Baby, the Stars Shine Bright or Moitié. Even if it means she must paint her own shoes white.”
To read more, visit "Becoming Porcelain" by Chelsea Musil.
Kindra Stewart is a former U.S. Air Force photojournalist and award-winning writer based in New Mexico. Her writing and photography have been featured in various military publications, The Crimson Thread, and Alamogordo Daily News. She is one of DiN’s nonfiction editors and is studying English with a concentration in rhetoric, digital media and professional communication with a minor in creative writing at New Mexico State University.
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