By: Michelle Burford - DiN Non-Fiction Editor
The 2021, poem/memoir ‘I Had a Brother Once’ by Adam Mansbach is about Adam being forced to remember a brother he thought he knew. He is confronted with his family’s unsettling history and ends up on a journey to understanding his brother’s death. Throughout Adam’s journey his delves into his relationship with family traditions as well as his faith.
I think this poem is very fitting for our theme ‘Chiaroscuro’. To this day we are still dealing with the repercussions of the global pandemic. There are still those who are adjusting to the loss of their loved ones. Adam looks as grief as a bottomless pit and coped with it by "figuratively" using plywood to wall it off to sort of avoid the pain.
What I found most moving about this piece is how accurate and relatable it felt. Losing a loved one abruptly is very hard and sometimes when you have everything else in life weighing you down the only thing you can think about is closing that pain off, especially when it is so overwhelming and crippling.
A common theme of the memoir is how Adam and his family dealt with the death of his brother. For years after the death, his mother would breakdown at the mere sound of his brother’s name. Adam makes a point that he felt like he was the only one who really understood his brother despite all his feelings being written in the things he left being. Adam reminisces on all his memories with his brother, both the good and what some would consider bad.
Grief is hard for anyone and there are a lot of approaches. Some choose to wallow in their despair and let it cripple them while some look back on the memories they have fondly despite how painful they are.
In truth, I chose this because it hit close to home. I know how losing someone can happen at any time of day even it is someone you are not particularly close too. When I had to grieve for my grandfather, I chose to keep moving forward instead of wallowing around in my grief. This piece is a reminder of how bittersweet the memories you share with the people around you can be, but also how they can be powerful motivators to cherish everything in your life more.
Sometimes we are overwhelmed by the intense emotions we feel in a given moment that we need to step back and look at them through a different perspective. You might be in pain in the moment and it might feel like you have nothing else to live for and that you can't move on, but I believe it is a bigger injustice to sit around and wallow in that emotion for too long. People come and go from our lives one way or another. We can either sit and ferment in the pain or we can learn and grow. The greatest honor to someone's memory is to persevere despite that pain and use it to motivate you to move forward.
Adam Mansbach - 'I Had a Brother Once'
Michelle Burford is a Junior at NMSU majoring in Animation and Visual Effects with minors in English, Creative Writing and Film. She has a passion for reading and writing and plans to pursue a career as a writer after gaining well rounded experience in publishing.
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